Saturday, May 19, 2007

Ann, The Queen of Men

So you think being a Meat Beetle is glamorous, right? Millions of fans; thousands of admirers wanting to have sex with you; accolades from the press. But it isn't all skittles and beer (well, no skittles anyway). Take this piece, for example. In order to assemble the samples used on this one The Meat Beetles had to spend several hours listening to the shrill, grating voice of Ann (The Man?) Coulter and the venomous, hateful spew that emanates from Coulter's dirty mouth.
And as if that weren't enough, The Meat Beetles are confronted with a particularly vexing problem when dealing with Coulter: What pronoun to use? Yes, Coulter appears to be somewhat woman-like (there are lumps in Coulter's shirt, although they could just be grapefruit or something), but those gargantuan hands and feet (and speaking of lumps, check out that adam's apple!), suggest that Coulter may be a man.

The Meat Beetles, however, are sensitive and compassionate people who don't wish to show disrespect toward any living thing that doesn't deserve it. To use the pronoun "she" to talk about Coulter would be offensive to every woman in the world. Similarly, the use of the pronoun "he" would be an affront to every man in the world. And if you call Coulter "it" you have insulted everything that exists in the entire universe. So The Meat Beetles have simply decided to refrain form using any pronouns at all when talking about this pus-colored biped.
One more thing: There are words in this piece that some may find offensive. Please remember that all of these words originated from Coulter's filthy pie-hole, perhaps the most disgusting orifice in the world. Consider the source!
Listen: Ann, The Queen of Men

Download Mp3 (4 MB)

No comments: